The TV show Farmer Wants a Wife has been an incredible hit over the years, and I know that I love it. I think though that this could be because I have already found my farmer. Actually, I found him years ago and at the time, I had absolutely no idea the life this was all about to plunge me into.
I suppose I can relate to
the girls that put themselves out there for love. I grew up in the centre of our town – Lithgow – in the Central West of NSW. I was raised walking or riding my bike wherever I needed to go. I had access to a corner shop where we could grab whatever we needed whenever it ran out. I had friends live within minutes of my house and milk was delivered in bottles from the milkman! If you asked me, I would be able to tell you where my food came from, milk = cows, lamb = sheep, steak = cows. I had no real interest otherwise, I didn’t need to. Mum did the groceries on Saturday mornings and the closest I came to knowing the source of my food was helping mum unpack the bags.
I worked Thursday nights and Saturdays in a café, babysat as many nights as I could manage, worked out at the local gym every afternoon and in my spare time studied my butt off for the teaching career I was certain I was going to have.
The handsome farmer men, with kelpie dogs, farm utes and gorgeous country landscapes are easy to fall for, but behind the scenes is a whole new world that unless you have grown up in it, life definitely takes you by surprise!
I didn’t meet my farmer via a dating app, and for sure not on a national TV show, we met in church! A place I highly recommend for anyone to find love. Both of our families moved to the same church from different churches, both in the same town but our paths had never crossed. We had been at the church for a couple of years I think before Phil walked in.
I noticed both him and the large group of people with him, but I was busy that morning with a kids church program and I think I spent most of the morning sitting on the carpet on the floor! I often wonder what these new people thought. Knowing now that my in-laws came from quite a strict church background, I must have been a shock to the system.
I was only 17 at the time, I had very short coloured and spikey hair. Phil even says he will never forget what I wore that day….dark green full length overalls and a pink jumper! None of those little cocktail dresses for me that we see the girls on TV wear to meet their farmer for the first time – haha – nope – full dag all the way.
But it must have made an impression.
He was the very epitome of a girls dream (well mine, anyway…). Tall, dark, handsome and didn’t have a loud overwhelming nature. He wouldn’t survive the drama of a reality show that’s for sure.
I would like to say that our eyes met across the crowded room and we knew instantly…but I can’t recall much more about that day except I left with the feeling that there was absolutely no way this gorgeous guy would be keen on me. You see I had a very pretty, long haired, naturally beautiful younger sister who caught the eyes of the guys much easier than I ever had or expected to.
I was in my last year of highschool and had more guys as mates than girls, and I am not sure how it all went down but I shared the fact that this new fella had walked into church with them and wouldn’t you know it, one of them knew Phil and played on the same indoor cricket team.
My ruse was up, I was unable from that point on to keep my thoughts a secret – who knows that the guys can be bigger gossips than the girls! I had tickets to go to the local debutante ball with all my friends and took the chance to invite Phil along – through our mutual friend.
Now, if you know my farmer at all, you would know that he has declined every invitation to every event that has come our way that may include dancing, dress-up, or too many people, so the very fact that he didn’t pull out ( he was going to), proves that the hand of God was in this from the beginning.
On the show Farmer Wants a Wife, you often see the men kicking up their freshly shined RM boots, twirling multiple ladies across the dancefloor, with the sponsored drink in one hand and an Akubra beginning to lose its grip on the head. This was nothing like our ball experience. We did dance a couple of times, but other than that it was quite subdued.
I look back now and knowing what I know, he must have liked me! He stuck it out and even asked me for another date! My mum swears that the day she saw Phil walk down the side of the house, she knew he was ‘my one’.
At the time, I had little idea that I was keen on a guy who was a farmer. I knew he lived out of town on a farm but I wasn’t really sure what that meant. I just thought he was cute. Like a few of the farmers on the TV, mine had work off-farm and did all the farm work in his ‘spare’ time.
It wasn’t probably until we were married a short time later, that I started to see the life that I was now a part of….yet here we are 30 years later, and I am learning still every day. I think that is the beauty of it all….every year is different and has certainly thrown up different challenges for this farm wife and her man.
Dates consisted of 4WD day trips, hunting, shooting and sitting in paddocks watching him sow oats. I thought it was incredibly romantic and even the fact that he lived at home and we spent most of our time in the company of his parents didn’t make me question a thing! I love my folks, and his are awesome. I just had no idea that most farm families continue for a lifetime to live and work closely together.
So, here we are.
I have so many stories to tell. Ones that I hope will encourage you, make you laugh, perhaps cry and overall, if you are also in the situation that you can call yourself a farmer’s wife, you might not feel alone. My world is an open book and as I have made notes on all the things that I wasn’t quite prepared for along this journey, I realised anew that truly would swap this life for all the money in the world!
The lovely ladies on the TV who sign up to become a farmer’s wife, obviously can’t hear me encouraging them as they eagerly hop over sheep yard gates, cuddle up to the (probably smelly) farm dog or trying to make a lasagne that beats his mums….but girls, I’ve been there! Its all ok! If he loves you, he’s not trying to find a new mum or a new farmhand with benefits. He’s after a wife! Someone to share it all with – good and bad! My experience has been that he’s ok with me trying and failing, or cheering him on from the sidelines. But let me tell you – there’s no room for dialling it in. This is a full-on, 24 hour/7 day a week life. See how I didn’t say ‘lifestyle’!?! Its so much more than that…… wanna join me on the ride?
Xxx
Toni
FWFL
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